Too much gin, very little bucket
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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