just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
