there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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