Got a toothbrush?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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