I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
