wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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