dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
