In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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