dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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