Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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