I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
