well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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