4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
