possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
