shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
