You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
