fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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