I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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