So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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