i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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