Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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