You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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