Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
