i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
