I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Holy shit dude........stairs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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