call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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