Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize