Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He shit in the fireplace
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
