someone get that fucking seahorse.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
