I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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