I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
