You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
