Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
