Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
