At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
