Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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