I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
