Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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