Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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