I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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