I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize