Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
