I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
