girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
