I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
