Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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