dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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