I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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