Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
