I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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