areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
