Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
