Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I didn't notice because vodka
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
