Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
