I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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